Lift as we Climb

I've always been an optimist, shying away from those who would have a negative influence in my life. This practice has afforded me many opportunities for which I am eternally blessed. However, to those whom much is given, much is expected.

On last Sunday when my phone abruptly interupted the loud whistle blown by the referee in the Football game, I saw O's name appear and I thought he had some SHADE to share with his CEO of...well you know my company. Upon answering I realized that it was lil man from the night before on the phone. Although I slightly remembered what I had offered (yes you guessed it...Damnit was quite bent during that convo at Shawnqt's krib), I was still taken aback by what was being requested of me. I didn't immediately render an affirmative response. On my way home I pondered the idea of having lil man stay in my home. Many thoughts went thru my head but the prevailing thought during my 35 minute drive south on the NJ Turnpike from Lil Dred's crib was "What is God up to?" Here I am on the eve of finally achieving my long awaited departure from 'parent rearing' towards blessed indepence. I drove in silence and had a lil talk with the man upstairs. Interestingly enough I found peace in this conversation for a number of reasons. One, I've been blessed in my life thus far. When my athletic scholarship expired while in college and I had no place to stay, my boy allowed me to bum on his couch for my last year...he was a blessing. I've had an ok (not good per my standards, however, profitable) career since leaving college. The few family members (2) that know of my sexual preference are not all that jubilant about it, but have never gone totally off the deep end although mom dukes has had to withstand multiple verbal armageddons rendered by I. All in all, I can't and refuse to complain.

Lil man and I spoke for about a hour that night and I agreed to take him in. I also spoke to him about my expectations of him and my goals for him. Fact is I want him to succeed and be the MAN that his father does not envision him to be but I KNOW he can become with proper guidance. As a child of God marvelously created in his image, he is destined for greatness! I believe that the adversity lil man has faced in his life thus far brought him to O & I for a reason...for that I am greatful. My prayer is that I can be a positive influence in lil man's life by challenging him to be the strong black man that I believe he can be.

Today I put a deposit on my new apartment in the burbs (city living is for the birds...lol) and with the new year will come renewed independence. February will bring forth a transformation in lil mans destiny. Everyday I plan to challenge him to ACHIEVE in EVERYTHING he puts his mind to. 'He Ain't Heavy' is the title of the picture captioned above... Helping lil man is not a burden in my mind, but a responsibility that I humbly and whole heartedly accept! He is now my son.

O, we've spoken and I've expressed to you that anything within my power that I can do to help you during this transitional period until Feb 1st just ask and I will work it out. I love you ma dude.


~Damnit!