It takes a lot of patience and determination to be able to engage in a long distance relationship (henceforward LDR). I can't say that I have ever truly been in one. Sure I've entertained katz that lived in other states but upon realizing that neither of us were willing to uproot ourselves or do the traveling that is required to keep such a relationship going, the connection just dwindled into an internet friendship. But as I sit back and observe others whom are engaging in them I can't help but wonder...is it me?
I do not require much in my potential mate. Well maybe I do... A good 'career' or at least aspirations towards those ends, stimulating conversation, charisma, self and world awareness to name a few. My superficial side does require one to be attractive and well kept but what about those other things that most if not all relationships require? Those moments of staring at each other as if nothing or no one else even matters. Walking down the street just enjoying each others company, laughing at the stupid shit each other says or if either of us trips slightly on a crack in the sidewalk. Lest I forget the sex to be had on a whim. Feeling that persons breathe on the back of my neck as we drift to sleep. Waking them up to a cheese omlet, fresh home fries, bacon, biscuts w/butter and some apple sauce just to nourish my dude for a morning romp. Could I forgo all of this for weeks on end; countless cancelations that may be encountered? Rotational visits to each others homes just for a weekend we both wish would never end? I just can't imagine it.
Watching two friends engage in these LDR have caused me to question my stance against them. One whom met his bf over the internet is now in marital bliss since dude moved up here is a success story for the ages. They are inseparable. Definitely a sight to behold. The second individual whom met his interest on a social trip is just beginning his and although finding it difficult as I would imagine would be at first, is willing to engage in it with hopes that the desired outcome will lead to lasting love. In his case, dude has decided to uproot himself and move to NYC...eventually. All I can do is sit back and say wow. I wish them all the luck and well wishes in the world.
I posed this question to myself... Could Damnit! do it? The saying goes there is someone for everybody. Could my someone be 'somewhere' else and by being closed minded (stubborn I guess is the word some people call me...among others never uttered) to the experience and or challenge, I am consciously dooming myself to a world filled with celebrity sports figures running across my screen or porn stars gallivanting from clip to clip on my favorites list? What if I could humble myself to the possibilities of LDL (Long Distant Love)? Hell, it's not like my short distant love affairs have panned out as I've desired. What if I would allow myself to hop on a plane to see that 'ONE' that for those brief moments in time will seem like eternity? I mean, what if...? What...if? Iono...
Damnit!
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12 comments:
I have been in three long distance relationships.
Neither of them lasted, but the one from Chicago, I swear to you it felt like we were soulmates! Using calling cards to call each other (yes it was that long ago!) Webcaming when we got hot and bothered, even mailing each other some of our stuff so we could feel closer to them. We even played vcr movies at the same time so we felt like we were watching it together. He was going to move to NYC for school, but "we" didn't last until that time.
Overall it was a great breather to really love and be into someone when the knuckleheads in jersey were acting up.
I say be open, but cautious.
I'm not sure if i could do the long distance thing. I mean hell I have problems seeing someone who lives 30 mins away. There was this guy I liked once, his tail lived over 35 mins away..and that's if there wasn't any traffic, and unfortunately like most of the men I seem to get with he didn't have a car. so we couldn't meet in the middle anywhere. So what little we had, fizzled real quick, especially when ever he would call to see me, I would give him some excuse, why I couldn't. The last thing I felt like doing after a long day, is haul ass across town to see his cute but ashy behind. This was also before rising gas prices, too.
However I can say that if a person makes you happy, and fits everything you are looking for, is it worth it, because they had the unfortunate occurance to live in another city, to let that potential love slip through your hands.
They say nothing worth working for, is worth having...or is it anything worht having, is worth working for...well anyway something like that, I'm not sure. I know it's something on the lines of if you have to work for it, its worht having...lol.. anyone get what I'm trying to say here?
If you feel it, go there, you never know what you might be missing, or not have to miss. Sometimes success or any other long term benefit is the separation (prison don't count) lol...
Damn, Shawn...Thats DEEP! LOL!
Personally, I'm not one for LDR's. I need ACCESS to someone. Plus, im a flirt, so the temptation to stray will be a HUGE problem.
;-)
Wait, if you making breakfast like that and can cook other dishes on a regular that I know you can, look no further, I'm here boo...lol.
Seriousely, I've been finding myself in a similar situation. I meet great guys online from south jersey (which is a day trip depending on how far south), philly etc that I would love to meet, but due to the distance, the headache and past experience I don't dare entertain the idea. But as I'm getting older (I'm turning 25 this year....wink wink) I'm throwing out a lot of my I "won'ts" and exchanging them for situational trials. Maybe there is someone in texas that can handle dammitt, try it. Hey no one is perfect so if distance is their only flaw should you not give them a try?
You can do it. Just open yourself up to exploring something new. (Don't you like how the pot is calling the kettle black? LOL)
I have a very close friend that is in a long distance relationship. They are making it work. It is a hard thing to do but is definately possible! If you are going to do something, give it your absolute all and nothing less...
LDRs can work....if you want them to. Personally, I rather not do them. I think they are just enhanced friendships. But I am a physical person. I need to be able to feel my man at least once a week...not even on a sexual tip. Just his presence is enough for me. But if this is something you want to try, I say try it.
i think all LDR's are is a training grounds for the 2 people to make concessions to be with each other, which MAY make the eventuality of living together an easy transition. as long as both of them know that 1 or both will have to move.
LDR works for those who have progressive lives of their own and with the intent and duty to be honest and open about their love. When the right time comes to become one force, it will be done without hesitation.
Without those particular qualifiers, LDR will fail.
I guess it depends on the people whether a Long distance, LTR will work. But in the meantime, we can pretend and you can wake me up with the home fries, bacon, etc. lol
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